The Truth About Mentors (and How to Easily Connect With One )


No man is self-made.

Everything you are today is traceable to an influence.

For a second, try to pay attention to the way you talk or just notice the way you walk, your gestures and sometimes your approach to life…They were probably copied from someone somewhere.

And there is no harm in copying as long as you “copyright”…lol

Imitation is one of the basis of development.

– Richini

Children begin to walk because they see other people around them walking.

That’s why this topic of mentorship should never be underestimated.



However, nothing is more important than learning from the best.

Copy excellence, learn from the best and imbibe whatever you find useful.

Sometimes you don’t even have to reinvent the wheel.


Be ye followers of them who through faith and patience inherit the promise.

-Hebrews 6:12

Many of us go around with questions looking for answers.

You read books, attend seminars and conferences hoping to get answers.

Coaches will tell you “take massive action!” Great. But What action? They can’t tell you because they probably don’t have your time.

Sometimes when you get answers, you are left confused and with more questions. When you want the step-by-step details, you’re left alone.

The guidance we stand to get from mentors is so enormous.

Mentors help you apply principles (learned from books, podcasts and seminars) in your own context-  apply it to the peculiarity of your situation.

But Asking Someone to Mentor You is Actually Creepy… Do this Instead!

Unlike many who go around sending emails to people they really admire hoping that they will get a response – there is  a better approach.

I know that  “Find a mentor” is a cliche that has been thrown around so much, it has become a giant cliche.

But its a cliche for a reason – and that is because it is truly critical to success.

Finding mentors is tough. Especially for young millennials. 

Sending an email to a VIP that asks, “Will you be my mentor?” is however a completely wrong approach. 

If you are fortunate enough, you will get a response like… I have a lot on my schedule recently but i have an online community where i share tips every now and then.

And i am sure this is not what you want. 

You want someone who can hold you by the hand, look over your shoulders and tell you exactly what to do.

Let’s make this clear 

You don’t choose your mentor, your mentor chooses you 


Top CEOs like Marissa Mayer of Yahoo!, Marc Benioff of Salesforce, and Eric Schmidt (formerly of Google) all agree.

The question now will be, Richini, how do i position myself to be discovered by a mentor?

Here is the secret:    

 Contribute to connect 

What can you add to the relationship? It is never a one way street…It’s always a win-win.

Therefore, when trying to connect with potential mentors, think about this: What can you offer so that they’ll want to invest the time and energy to help advance your career?

Read about them, know their interest and see what you can offer to help them advance also… It can be a skill, money, expertise, gifts or just being available to run errands. 

This is how you connect with a mentor the right way… 

P.S. what do you think about this approach? Let me know in the comment below.


33 thoughts on “The Truth About Mentors (and How to Easily Connect With One )

Add yours

  1. I think the best thing I got here which I agree with and lot of people dont understand is that you can’t choose a mentor. A mentor has to choose you and the most crucial bit of that is making yourself important and bringing something to their table. Thank you for a lovely piece again. xx


  2. Very true.Great tips!I have a question though.what if your mentor is not within your reach?Like stays in an different continent?


    1. Yea!!!
      No matter where your mentor is, there is always a way to connect. You just have to contribute to connect.
      Is there something you can do to be noticed? then go ahead. You have to contribute in a way that will make him/her want to get to know you and mentor you.


  3. Alot was just added to my knowledge while reading this.’you don’t choose your mentor,your mentor chooses you’. That statement alone has put me on the right path. Thank you RichIni.


  4. Woow! I learnt something new reading this. You don’t choose your mentor, your mentor chooses you. I never knew this!! Thank you so much Richini!
    I will never underestimate mentorship.
    A question, what if someone you hope to be your mentor isnt within reach and you can’t connect with him or her? What do you do then?
    Thank you again for positioning yourself to be an answer to the world.


    1. Nice Question.
      No matter where your mentor is, there is always a way to connect. You just have to contribute to connect.
      Is there something you can do to be noticed? then go ahead. You have to contribute in a way that will make him/her want to get to know you and mentor you.


  5. Amazing…. “Positioning ” yourself to be chosen by your mento is extremely important …thanks a million dear!..Was really blessed by this


  6. This is absolutely true. When you make yourself available to someone, they make themselves available to you. And it’s in line with a message I watched by pastor Chris(ministering to the Lord) where he said sometimes we want God to attend to us when in fact we are the ones not attending to Him. So instead of seeking a mentor, let them find you. So enlightening. Thank you ma


  7. Amazing, this just gave me an entirely different perspective and approach– to make myself resourceful & indispensable to my mentor. At all times I have something to offer. Thank you so much


  8. I always knew having a mentor was important but this piece has actually shown how very important it is to have a mentor… mentors actually lead you to the path of success, and this has inspired me to be much more available to my mentor and offer all I can to my mentor.. thank you richini for this amazing write up, God bless you richly.


  9. thanks richini, “contribute to connect” that is deep. Also am of the opinion that as a believer that JESUS should be your primary mentor(what will he do, how will he do it and so on, thank God we have his word and prayer to guide us). Then to have earthly mentor, it is important to have some who also belongs to the kingdom( 1corinthains 11:1). An unbeliever mentoring a believer is unequal yoking.


  10. This is a beautiful post and yes a mentor chooses you that way it’s more genuine and the dedication to your growth​ will be 100% unlike when you choose and it’s more like he or she was forced to be your mentor ..


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